June 17, 2004

Definition of funny

This should be in the dictionary under "Funny".

It's "made me cry" funny.

Posted by dave at 12:27 PM | Comments (0)

June 11, 2004

this is what I'm talking about

It's about time someone finally tried to make one of these. As soon as we saw them in Star Wars, we all wanted one... well that and a lightsaber... How cool would it be if they could get something like this to run all day and defeat Earth's gravity? That would be so badass. A little PDA, following you around taking cues and recording what you program it to, as well as performing menial tasks on the side... nice. It does unfortunately open up a whole new world of hacking and invasion of privacy, etc. but every leap forward has it's potential problems right?

Posted by dave at 11:39 AM | Comments (0)

June 09, 2004

wow, what the fuck was that?

Just watched the Matrix Revolutions on 2 dollar pay per view... what the fuck was that all about? I feel like I just sat through two hours of an 8th grade honors english book report - lots of random ideas to make you think there is a singluar coherent thought but enough repetition to convince most that they're not as clever as the author so that they don't call bullshit out loud... oh, yeah and don't forget to throw in the obligatory "the main character was a christ figure" to placate the teacher's hopes that what they've dedicated their life to has some deeper meaning.

So at what point do you think the author(s) said: "The audience is too stupid to recognise that the mental dude has been taken over by Agent Smith even though we've repeated his only line 'Hello Mr. Anderson' at least four times so let's do it one more time so they get it... oh but don't worry about all the other plot holes and dangling, half thought out, and dying devices we've already picked up and dropped again - once the audience hears 'Hello Mr. Anderson' ONE MORE TIME it won't matter because Agent Smith is coooooool."

Oh, and if I was the director of Superman 2 - you know the one where the guy and gals from the krypton jail get out and fight superman - I'd be filing a law suit over the blatant rip off of the final fight scene. There's got to be some prior art thing they can follow up on...

Posted by dave at 10:49 PM | Comments (0)

June 07, 2004

Snippet stories

I love snippet pages from news sources - the kind of "news" link where they put three or four little stories that aren't big enough for their own page together one after the other. This one, for example, cracks me up. The reason I find this funny is the mini headlines. Just scanning down the page they are:

Some neighbors’ loud lovemaking is causing one woman in Sweden to feel sick, according to a complaint she lodged with a health office.
Study: Ducks Quack a Different Tune
Bush Thieves on the Loose in Texas
Loud Singer Allegedly Attacked With Nail File
Over-Protective Parents Evicted for Attacking Guests

Now independently they're cute little stories. On the same page, one right after the other, they're presented as if they have some connection... that's what scares and amuses me.

Posted by dave at 11:55 AM | Comments (0)

June 02, 2004

Six Flags

Around here they have this creapy commercial for a Six Flags (amusement park if you didn't know). The commercial involves this guy dressed up in a really bad old man suit getting off the "happy bus", looking people in the eye and then doing this kooky, yet hypnotic dance that forces people to drop whatever they're doing and get on the bus.... uh... scary.

This is how I imagine child molestors imagine themselves in the act of kidnapping little kids. The cute old man that couldn't hurt a fly right? "Look at the cute old man dance! Of course I'll get on your happy little bus! There's no way you could rape, torture and mutilate me!"

Posted by dave at 09:01 AM | Comments (1)